Life is really amusing.
I've gone through my ups and downs with great stride. I consider myself a nice guy. The young women in my life mostly consider me a nice guy still today. I've hit a lot of bumps along the way, a few I'm not proud of. My intentions have always been good, I would say.
I've decided that you can only get so far being a nice guy though. Other guys consider you weak, which is why most young men don't have the balls to even consider being one of the nice guys. Women don't find you as attractive at first, at least not in my case (I don't think); but eventually, if they have kept you around in their life long enough, they realize how great you can be. Sometimes, this comes at a point when you are in another relationship.
I knew this young lady since she moved here in high school. We were dorky kinda kids that got along very well but we were never at the same level at the same time. When I wanted to start a relationship it was a bad time for her and vice versa. Occasionally, we would be able to hang out even throughout our college years. These times were complicated for both of us, being so busy with the things that were in our lives at the time. She called me up one morning in tears on a random day after we had not talked in about a year. She was in tears because her current boyfriend was abusing her and she didn't know what to do. I asked her if he made her happy and she decidedly said no after further questions and analysis of the situation. My advice, to dump him. I found out a couple of months later that she didn't dump him right away and things got worse. After some more time, we tried for a relationship during our winter break. We both had more time for things. I loved kissing her. She put me in situations I knew that I was pushing the boundary of being safe for me which was both scary and exciting. I concluded from these experiences that if I had taken the next step I would be just like every other guy out there. She eventually broke up with me with a perfectly fine and unrelated reason, I wasn't right with God and continue to struggle with that today. That's another story. I was hard on her about certain issues because she hadn't had anyone in her life that would press those issues but she made it clear to me, I thought, that she wanted to work on them. I still continue to be hard on her on some things but we don't really talk anymore. I think true friends are the ones that will point things out to you in a way that isn't hostile but are just genuinely and sincerely wishing you to know that those are things that hurt them.
I am the kind of person that is all in or all out especially when it comes to dealing with things in my life. I want to get it done and move on with my life so that we can get to the next chapter, which I always hope is a brighter one.
I've gone through my ups and downs with great stride. I consider myself a nice guy. The young women in my life mostly consider me a nice guy still today. I've hit a lot of bumps along the way, a few I'm not proud of. My intentions have always been good, I would say.
I've decided that you can only get so far being a nice guy though. Other guys consider you weak, which is why most young men don't have the balls to even consider being one of the nice guys. Women don't find you as attractive at first, at least not in my case (I don't think); but eventually, if they have kept you around in their life long enough, they realize how great you can be. Sometimes, this comes at a point when you are in another relationship.
I knew this young lady since she moved here in high school. We were dorky kinda kids that got along very well but we were never at the same level at the same time. When I wanted to start a relationship it was a bad time for her and vice versa. Occasionally, we would be able to hang out even throughout our college years. These times were complicated for both of us, being so busy with the things that were in our lives at the time. She called me up one morning in tears on a random day after we had not talked in about a year. She was in tears because her current boyfriend was abusing her and she didn't know what to do. I asked her if he made her happy and she decidedly said no after further questions and analysis of the situation. My advice, to dump him. I found out a couple of months later that she didn't dump him right away and things got worse. After some more time, we tried for a relationship during our winter break. We both had more time for things. I loved kissing her. She put me in situations I knew that I was pushing the boundary of being safe for me which was both scary and exciting. I concluded from these experiences that if I had taken the next step I would be just like every other guy out there. She eventually broke up with me with a perfectly fine and unrelated reason, I wasn't right with God and continue to struggle with that today. That's another story. I was hard on her about certain issues because she hadn't had anyone in her life that would press those issues but she made it clear to me, I thought, that she wanted to work on them. I still continue to be hard on her on some things but we don't really talk anymore. I think true friends are the ones that will point things out to you in a way that isn't hostile but are just genuinely and sincerely wishing you to know that those are things that hurt them.
I am the kind of person that is all in or all out especially when it comes to dealing with things in my life. I want to get it done and move on with my life so that we can get to the next chapter, which I always hope is a brighter one.
1 comment:
Is this a girl you really see yourself with? If yes, what's stopping you from really being with her? If no, why are you still stuck on her?
I get that you are an all in and all out in this, it makes sense. And never lose the ability to be completely honest with someone and tell them how it is, no matter how offensive it may be at first, if it's the truth then people will thank you for it later.
Please remember that "good intentions" are nothing when they aren't put into actions. Everyone (well most of us) truly has good intentions about a lot of things, but our actions are different. There's a disconnect in our hearts that makes us do something different than we wanted to.
I think it's about grace.
Allow yourself to accept grace and forgiveness first and then you will be able to show it toward people around you, even when they hurt you.
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